Please kindly assess my writing. Thank you

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Xianz
Posts: 9
Joined: Sat Dec 26, 2015 8:23 am

Please kindly assess my writing. Thank you

Post by Xianz »

The two maps below show an island, before and after the construction of some tourist facilities.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The two maps illustrate an island’s preview before and after the construction of some tourist facilities with 100 meters scale. Overall, from the totally empty island, it turned into tourist area with fully facilities.

Before the construction happened, the island was only surrounded by some trees. On the west side which is at the end of the island, there was a small beach.

After construction, the island was facilitated with some accommodations with footpath on the west and east side. On the west side of the island, the beach is provided for the tourist for swimming and it only can be reach by foot. It is nearer for tourists that stay in the west side. On the east side, it is still have some trees.

Furthermore, on the north side of the island, there is a restaurant with vehicle tack. Just below the restaurant, there is a reception with vehicle track too. Last but not least, on the south area, there is a pier for the tourists to park their ships and walk on the bridge to enjoy the sea view.
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David.IELTS.Examiner
IELTS Examiner
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Posts: 1371
Joined: Tue May 05, 2015 4:34 am

Re: Please kindly assess my writing. Thank you

Post by David.IELTS.Examiner »

Hello again,
Just a few corrections ...
1. the island is surrounded by water, not trees
2. the beach is still there - no past tense
3. on the east side, there are still some trees
Overall, very good!
David
Evgenii Rodin
Posts: 24
Joined: Thu Dec 24, 2015 6:54 am

Re: Please kindly assess my writing. Thank you

Post by Evgenii Rodin »

Man, so many grammar mistakes! You should do something about it. And I see no point in writing 5 paragraphs in this very case, I would write only 4.
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Flick
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Joined: Mon Apr 21, 2014 10:06 pm

Re: Please kindly assess my writing. Thank you

Post by Flick »

Xianz wrote:The two maps below show an island before and after the construction of some tourist facilities.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The two maps illustrate an island’s layout before and after the construction of some tourist facilities. Overall, from the totally empty island, it turned into tourist area with fully facilities.(<--Reword to: "The island went from totally empty to a tourist-friendly location.")

Before the construction happened, the island was only surrounded by some trees.(<--Reword to: "Before construction, the island only had trees.") At the west end of the island there was a small beach.

After construction, the island was facilitated with some accommodations with footpath on the west and east side.(<--Reword to: "After construction, there were several buildings for accommodation, joined by footpaths.") On the west side of the island, the beach has been made safe for swimming and it only can be reached by foot. It is nearer for tourists that stay in the west side. On the east side, it is still have some trees.(<--Reword to: "There are still trees on the east side of the island.")

Furthermore, on the north side of the island, there is a restaurant accessible by vehicle. Just below the restaurant, there is a reception area. Last but not least, in the south area, there is a pier for the tourists to moor their ships and enjoy the sea view.
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