Task 2)

[Wayfarer]

Topic:Some people believe that children are given too much free time. They feel that this time should be used to do more school work. How do you think children should spend their free time?

In many societies upbringing of children is prioritized as a vital foundation of a country's wellbeing. It is therefore clear why so much attention is directed towards the activities children tend to be involved in their free time. While there is a growing body of opinion in favor of extra-curricular activities for leisure time, I believe this time can be spent more efficiently if children expend it on taking up new hobbies and interests. In fact, there are two major reasons for supporting this standpoint.

First reason is a chance for kids to venture doing different activities which may eventually open up certain avenues to a future career. When they embark upon a number of new hobbies they often end up with the one they find most appealing. As kids grow up, they develop a strong passion towards this interest and eventually it becomes a useful skill which can be added on their CV. Take some common pastimes as writing stories, singing songs or even playing tennis as examples. Although they initially appear to be childish forms of recreation, after years of practice they may become a tool by which many employers would be impressed.

Another reason is that leisure activities are very helpful when deterring a child from choosing a wrong path. In some cases, because of lack of interest and involvement in pastimes, children are attracted by a bad company of potential criminals and alcoholics. As experience shows, children with particular pursuits are less likely to commit crime than the ones without, since they get involved in positive activities which are both useful and rewarding.

Although some parents still idealize more school work and believe it to be an optimum option for their children in their free time, these primary benefits derived from hobbies and interests suggest that this is unlikely to be the case.

[sebastian]

I think task achievement is good (you do address the question and explain your reasons) and the text itself is quite coherent. Good vocabulary and generally good grammar. There are some mistakes but those are just nitpicks, there's nothing that obstructs communication:

towards the activities children tend to be involved in their free time.

You're missing a preposition after 'involved,' since it's actually a phrasal verb (to be involved with...).

... for leisure time, I believe this time can be spent more efficiently

Same word twice, which is a bit redundant. Having said that, I don't really think that would affect your score (I'm not sure, anyway), but you can still look for alternatives.

if children expend it on taking up new hobbies and interests.

While grammatically correct, that verb usually conveys 'consumption' rather than 'investment', and I don't think that's the right register if you're actually encouraging said hobbies and interests.

First reason is a chance for kids to venture doing different activities

It looks a bit odd. I'd suggest either 'First, it is a chance...' or 'The first reason is that it presents a chance ...'

it becomes a useful skill which can be added on their CV.

I think 'added to their CV' would be better.

they may become a tool by which many employers would be impressed.

I think 'with which many employers would be impressed' would be better but, then again, I'm not sure. I may be just talking nonsense here

children are attracted by a bad company of potential criminals and alcoholics.

Grammatically correct but still looks a bit strange. I'd suggest 'the bad company...' (since you're specifically addressing criminals and alcoholics) or 'a bad company, such as that provided by potential criminals and alcoholics'.