Please help assess my writing task 2! Thank you!

[michaelsu2016]

There is a perception by some people that travelling by airplane is better to be banned due to the serious pollution it caused, which has aroused much debate these days. I cannot agree with this view for the following reasons.

Air travel carries tremendous benefits in terms of the convenience it brings to our traveling experience and the economical value it generates for local economy. To begin with, there is little doubt that it makes our travel experience convenient. With the invention of airplane, it carries inherent advantages over other transport means, such as cars and trains, which is to save much time and effort. Nowadays, flights are so frequent among big cities around the global so people can can attend meetings or conferences, go for a business trip and for vacation with less time and hustle than ever before in the history. Furthermore, travelling by air boots the local economy for many countries where people have to reach by airplanes. It brings more and more tourists to popular attractions there, and people a buy many artworks, such as aboriginal handcraft. also, a large number of local residents can find jobs related to the tourism industry.

Granted, air travel is one of the many factors that contribute to the gas emission so to cause some negative effects, such as global warming and air pollution. this is true because fuel is still the main source used in most aircraft. Despite this, we should not over looked the fact other factors, such as cars and factories, account for the large portion of the overall waste emission, which has been proved by many research projects conducted in multiple countries. therefore, we should think of more effective measures to solve this problem, by starting with cars and factories.

In conclusion, air travel has brought about many benefits to us by providing convenience and boosting local economy. But when it comes to the pollution, we should work out proper measures to reduce the level of pollution by looking at the primary sources.

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Thank you very much.

I has a problem to reduce the words, because I normally run out of time to finish.
Also, how to make my task response better? Any chance to improve my essays to Band 7?

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hi Michael,
This is a very good essay - well done!
There are relatively few grammar mistakes and none of them interferes with meaning.
You have used a wide variety of vocabulary with few mistakes (e.g. boots - boosts).
If you feel that you are going to be short of time, make sure that you only include the points that you can best express in English. This will ensure that you get the best possible score.
All the best,
David

[michaelsu2016]

Thank you very much for your prompt assessment, David!! Your encouragement improved my confidence level on writing, because I always think I am not good enough.