task 2

[midokenawi]

task: please I need band score assessment and highlight my mistakes thank.
can any writing tutor assess this

government give a lot of support to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been used elsewhere
discuss both views and give your opinion
answer:

It has become a common debatable issue in numerous societies that the authorities expressed a great support to artists. However, encouragement should be shifted to other fields in their communities. Although both opinions have conspicuous reasons, I would stand with the latter point of view.

first of all, art is the spirit of any community. It enhances the public emotions, local loyalty and, definitely, improve locals behaviour and taste of life. Thus, states should demonstrate a clear assistance and support to people working un this arena, particularly artist. they spend a lot of time and effort to accomplish their work and to display masterpiece performance. Furthermore, their products are not similar to mass production in other business fields. As a result, if they do not receive a sound support from the government, they would not be able to maintain their career.

On the other hand, numerous social activists argue that point of view for many logic factors. firstly, artists have been recognized tremendously by the media and adverts. We can easily define this support in T.V programs and in most of the adverts all over the world. Secondly, governments have to make priority when spending money or express support for a particular group.For instance, teachers and physicians have not yet received a minute recognition in most of the societies. In spite of they are the masters in establishing health and knowledge for their nations.
In conclusion, I definitely stick to the second opinion, that governers have to shift their support and recognition to other careers such as educators and medical doctors. At least to maintain a balance in their communities.

[Flick]

government give a lot of support to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been used elsewhere
discuss both views and give your opinion
answer:

It has become a commonly debated issue in numerous societies that the authorities provide a lot of support to artists. However, many people feel that encouragement should be shifted to other fields in their communities. Although both opinions have strong support, I would stand with the latter point of view.

First of all, art is the spirit of any community. It enhances public emotions, builds local loyalty and, definitely, improves locals' behaviour and taste of life. Thus, states should demonstrate a clear assistance and support to people working in this arena, particularly artists. They spend a lot of time and effort to accomplish their work and to display masterpiece performances. Furthermore, their products are not similar to mass production in other business fields. As a result, if they do not receive sound support from the government, they will not be able to maintain their career.

On the other hand, numerous social activists argue that point of view for many logical factors. Firstly, artists have been recognized tremendously by the media and adverts. We can easily define this support in TV programs and in most of the adverts all over the world. Secondly, governments have to prioritize when spending money or expressing support for a particular group. For instance, teachers and physicians have not yet received a minute recognition in many societies, despite being the masters in establishing health and knowledge for their nations.

In conclusion, I definitely agree with the second opinion, that governments have to shift their support and recognition to other careers such as educators and medical doctors. At least to maintain a balance in their communities.

[midokenawi]

thanks flick , could you give an average score for that work