Task 2

[bpaednonuyr]

Hi, please evaluate my writing, this is my topic:

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.




There are people who prefer live their lives without greater changes. On the other hand, some people enjoy life full of changes more. Which approach is better?
Firstly, people do not like changes, because it is easir not to change anything. Negative attitude is natural, because our bodies like stereotypes and routines, even if they are not good. Secondly, people are affraid of changes. The smallest change is able to affect too many aspects of one’s life. Thirdly, change does not have to be always beneficial. Sometimes, you try to do good things, but it leads to disaster.
Some people may argue that you only need to be satisfied with what you have and you will be happy. No one can deny that seeing things positively is key to happines. However, there are many ways to improve our lives. If you decide to change something, it may causes huge improvement in different part of your life and opens avenues. In addition, doing something differently can benefit other people too. For example, we maybe decide to live more enviromently friendly or give up older clothes and give it to charity. Moreover, changes makes us more flexible. More flexible people are better in wide variety of job, sports or handle emergency situations wisely.
In conclusion, changes have both advantages and disadvantages. In my opition, it is important to distinguish positive and negative changes and their results. Also, it depends on us if change will bring good results or not. Lastly, people should be aware that sometimes we have to give up something we adore to gain more that we had before.

[David.IELTS.Examiner]

Hello!
Reading through the essay, it is more a list of generalisations (negative attitude is natural, changes make us more flexible) without support than an academic essay.
Usually, it's a good idea to pick out a few key points and develop them rather than simply listing things that may or may not be true.
The conclusion is actually quite good, but doesn't relate to what you have written in the main paragraphs, e,g, you haven't suggested how we can differentiate between good and bad changes.
All the best,
David