It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician.
Discuss both views and giev your opinion.
Answer:
Creativity is a much debated topic. It is argued that people cannot learn to become creative but has to come naturally. While some artists or sportspersons are ingrained with exceptional talent there are others who under able supervision and training have become the best in their work.
It is a common belief that people are born with talents. It is true to some extent. For some among us playing a musical instrument comes naturally. They understand the instrument better than others and read the notes easier compared to others. Even in sports, some kids have the knack of reading the opponents moves better than others. They usually come up innovative ways within the game which makes successful. Top ranking sportsmen or women are born with minds sharper than others and can pick up things faster. For example, Leonardo Da Vinci had a flair for arts and science from a very young age. He did not have any professional help and went on to become a much admired artist and a scientist.
However, not all celebrities are self-taught geniuses. There are a many famous icons who were branded as failures but became good after being trained in their specific area of interest. Consider the popular Indian actor - Amitab Bacchan. He had a series of failures in the initial days of his career. Critics labeled him as a non-actor and declared him as not fit for movies. He joined acting classes under the national academy for acting. After a year of rigorous training he got his big break. His next movie was the biggest hit in Indian cinema and the same critics praised his screen presence. This shows that creativity is not inborn, but can be taught to anybody who has the patience and passion for learning. There are several examples similar to this which demonstrates that anybody can become good in their field of choice with proper guidance and they need not have talent ingrained in them.
In conclusion, some of us are born with creativity whereas others need to discover what their passion is and work towards achieving perfection. Talent can take us places, but to remain at the top and being appreciated needs hard work and passion. I strongly believe that if we apply ourselves and dedicate our time in our chosen line of work we can be as good as a prodigy. We don't need to born with talents to be appreciated and accepted.
First Essay - Reviews please :)
Re: First Essay - Reviews please :)
Any suggestions, please!
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SyntaxFox
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Re: First Essay - Reviews please :)
Hi bond_bhai, thanks for posting. I’ve read your work, and I have a few tips for you.
Corrections are in red, and comments are in blue.
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It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sportsperson or musician.
Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Creativity is a much debated topic. It is argued that people cannot learn to be creative, because it has to come naturally. But while (<-- I added ‘but’ because this sentence opposes the previous one.) some artists or sportspeople are ingrained with exceptional talent there are others who, under able supervision and training, have become the best in their field. (<-- I added commas here to break up the sentence and improve the flow.
It is a common belief that people are born with talents. This is true to some extent. For some among us, playing a musical instrument comes naturally. They understand the instrument better than others and read the notes easier compared to others. Even in sports, some kids have the knack of reading their opponents’ moves better than others. They usually come up with innovative ways to win their games. (<-- Your wording was a little awkward, so I rephrased it.) Top ranking sportspeople or artists (<-- I reworded this sentence to include artists because in the next sentence, you give Da Vinci as an example. He was not a sportsperson!) are born with minds sharper than others and can pick up things faster. For example, Leonardo Da Vinci had a flair for arts and science from a very young age. He did not have any professional help and went on to become a much admired artist and scientist.
However, not all celebrities are self-taught geniuses. There are many famous icons that were branded as failures but became good after being trained in their specific area of interest. Consider the popular Indian actor Amitab Bacchan. (<-- No need for the dash.) He had a series of failures in the initial days of his career. Critics labelled him as a non-actor and declared him not fit for films. (<-- ‘Movies’ is an American English word. Some British people do use it, but it’s better to say ‘films’.) He joined acting classes at the National Academy for Acting. (<-- Names of people, places and organisations need to be capitalised.) After a year of rigorous training, he got his big break. His next movie was a huge hit in Indian cinemas and the same critics praised his onscreen presence. This shows that creativity is not inborn, but can be taught to anybody who has the patience and passion for learning. There are several examples similar to this, demonstrating (<-- I altered this to improve the flow of the sentence.) that anybody can become good in their field of choice with proper guidance, and they need not have talent ingrained in them.
In conclusion, some of us are born with creativity, whereas others need to discover what their passion is and work towards achieving perfection. Talent can take us places, but to remain at the top and continue being appreciated needs hard work and passion. (<-- Again, I added a word to improve the sentence flow.) I strongly believe that if we apply ourselves and dedicate our time in our chosen line of work, we can be as good as a prodigy. We don't need to born with talents to be appreciated and accepted.
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I enjoyed reading your work, and I have some advice for you. Firstly, never underestimate the value of commas! Long sentences can be confusing, and without breaks they can become difficult to read. Try reading long sentences aloud, or in your head. Every time you naturally pause for breath, or ‘hear’ a pause in your head, it’s probably a good place to use a comma.
Secondly, it’s important to ensure that your writing flows well, whether it’s being read aloud or not. With complex sentences, sometimes a single word can replace a whole phrase – making it easier to read, and more concise. If you spot a sentence that looks complicated, you could try to remove a couple of words, or replace them with a shorter alternative.
Keep practising,
SyntaxFox
Corrections are in red, and comments are in blue.
----
It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sportsperson or musician.
Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Creativity is a much debated topic. It is argued that people cannot learn to be creative, because it has to come naturally. But while (<-- I added ‘but’ because this sentence opposes the previous one.) some artists or sportspeople are ingrained with exceptional talent there are others who, under able supervision and training, have become the best in their field. (<-- I added commas here to break up the sentence and improve the flow.
It is a common belief that people are born with talents. This is true to some extent. For some among us, playing a musical instrument comes naturally. They understand the instrument better than others and read the notes easier compared to others. Even in sports, some kids have the knack of reading their opponents’ moves better than others. They usually come up with innovative ways to win their games. (<-- Your wording was a little awkward, so I rephrased it.) Top ranking sportspeople or artists (<-- I reworded this sentence to include artists because in the next sentence, you give Da Vinci as an example. He was not a sportsperson!) are born with minds sharper than others and can pick up things faster. For example, Leonardo Da Vinci had a flair for arts and science from a very young age. He did not have any professional help and went on to become a much admired artist and scientist.
However, not all celebrities are self-taught geniuses. There are many famous icons that were branded as failures but became good after being trained in their specific area of interest. Consider the popular Indian actor Amitab Bacchan. (<-- No need for the dash.) He had a series of failures in the initial days of his career. Critics labelled him as a non-actor and declared him not fit for films. (<-- ‘Movies’ is an American English word. Some British people do use it, but it’s better to say ‘films’.) He joined acting classes at the National Academy for Acting. (<-- Names of people, places and organisations need to be capitalised.) After a year of rigorous training, he got his big break. His next movie was a huge hit in Indian cinemas and the same critics praised his onscreen presence. This shows that creativity is not inborn, but can be taught to anybody who has the patience and passion for learning. There are several examples similar to this, demonstrating (<-- I altered this to improve the flow of the sentence.) that anybody can become good in their field of choice with proper guidance, and they need not have talent ingrained in them.
In conclusion, some of us are born with creativity, whereas others need to discover what their passion is and work towards achieving perfection. Talent can take us places, but to remain at the top and continue being appreciated needs hard work and passion. (<-- Again, I added a word to improve the sentence flow.) I strongly believe that if we apply ourselves and dedicate our time in our chosen line of work, we can be as good as a prodigy. We don't need to born with talents to be appreciated and accepted.
----
I enjoyed reading your work, and I have some advice for you. Firstly, never underestimate the value of commas! Long sentences can be confusing, and without breaks they can become difficult to read. Try reading long sentences aloud, or in your head. Every time you naturally pause for breath, or ‘hear’ a pause in your head, it’s probably a good place to use a comma.
Secondly, it’s important to ensure that your writing flows well, whether it’s being read aloud or not. With complex sentences, sometimes a single word can replace a whole phrase – making it easier to read, and more concise. If you spot a sentence that looks complicated, you could try to remove a couple of words, or replace them with a shorter alternative.
Keep practising,
SyntaxFox
Re: First Essay - Reviews please :)
Thanks a lot SyntaxFox for the review! Appreciate your help. I will certainly keep in mind the tips/corrections you have pointed out.