Many people strive to maintain a successful career and happy family life at the same time. What problems can this situation create? What are the possible solutions?
The advancements in technological era has led to inexorable challenges. One of the major problems today, relates to maintaining a balance between contented family life and a successful career. In this essay, problems associated with this and relevant solutions will be discussed prior to reaching an informed conclusion.
It is generally taken into view that frustration to attain a successful career can have a huge impact on relationships and vice versa. For instance, in Asia, particularly in India, it is a common culture to deal with children at home ferociously because parents usually become intolerant due to their growing work commitments. In addition to this, deplorable personal lifestyle may reflect in work. A person might feel disinclined at job, for example, after fighting at home. These problems in all can perturb a stable lifestyle.
If solutions are to be proposed in this regard, one way out is to dedicate separate time for personal and professional life. This can be achieved by not having instilled work related thoughts in mind while spending time with family. Another solution is to value emotions more than being materialistic. Most importantly, one should prioritize relationships as a happy lifestyle is the key to success in every walk of life. The plausible solutions explained above, illustrate that in order to maintain balance, priorities should be set and family must not be forbidden.
After analyzing the problems and appropriate solutions, it can be concluded that keeping a high profile career and family alongside is fairly a difficult task. Thus, in order to be satisfied, it is mandatory to re-evaluate our manner of living in accordance with standards and find solutions to achieve equilibrium between personal and professional way of living.
Writing task 2 - 4 checks required for band 8
Re: Writing task 2 - 4 checks required for band 8
Please evaluate somebody.
Re: Writing task 2 - 4 checks required for band 8
Dear Faty,
Your introduction doesn’t tell the examiner either your position or your plan. The essay may look like a straightforward problem-solution type, but remember the marking rubric for Task 2 essays: it constantly refers to the writer’s position. Try to avoid stock sentences like ‘In this essay, ...................... will be discussed prior to reaching an informed conclusion’ because they are uninformative and unnecessary. Clearly we are talking about ‘this essay’, so there is no need to say so, and the examiner can read about ................ for herself. What she would like to see is what you think about the issue and what will be in the essay. Try to avoid standard phrases and over-generalisations. Candidates often start essays with a reference to technology (or globalisation), but unless you can directly relate it to the question, it is irrelevant. Remember that the introduction is the first thing the examiner reads and it will colour her view of the rest of the essay.
You have made some good points, but they are not fully developed. Try to think ‘problem + example’. Aim for clarity and simplicity. That doesn’t mean using very simple sentences or low-level vocabulary, but making your ideas plain and expressing them well. You are using vocabulary up to the 7,000 word level, but sometimes inappropriately or unnaturally. For example, ‘perturb’ is a nice word, but problems can’t perturb a lifestyle.
Your last paragraph doesn’t really reach a conclusion. It says that it can be hard to achieve a work-life balance, and that people need to find a solution. Your essay should lead to a conclusion – whether you think it is a soluble problem or not.
I hope this helps.
Kind regards
Teacher Jill
Many people strive to maintain a successful career and happy family life at the same time. What problems can this situation create? What are the possible solutions?
Your introduction doesn’t tell the examiner either your position or your plan. The essay may look like a straightforward problem-solution type, but remember the marking rubric for Task 2 essays: it constantly refers to the writer’s position. Try to avoid stock sentences like ‘In this essay, ...................... will be discussed prior to reaching an informed conclusion’ because they are uninformative and unnecessary. Clearly we are talking about ‘this essay’, so there is no need to say so, and the examiner can read about ................ for herself. What she would like to see is what you think about the issue and what will be in the essay. Try to avoid standard phrases and over-generalisations. Candidates often start essays with a reference to technology (or globalisation), but unless you can directly relate it to the question, it is irrelevant. Remember that the introduction is the first thing the examiner reads and it will colour her view of the rest of the essay.
You have made some good points, but they are not fully developed. Try to think ‘problem + example’. Aim for clarity and simplicity. That doesn’t mean using very simple sentences or low-level vocabulary, but making your ideas plain and expressing them well. You are using vocabulary up to the 7,000 word level, but sometimes inappropriately or unnaturally. For example, ‘perturb’ is a nice word, but problems can’t perturb a lifestyle.
Your last paragraph doesn’t really reach a conclusion. It says that it can be hard to achieve a work-life balance, and that people need to find a solution. Your essay should lead to a conclusion – whether you think it is a soluble problem or not.
I hope this helps.
Kind regards
Teacher Jill
Many people strive to maintain a successful career and happy family life at the same time. What problems can this situation create? What are the possible solutions?
Re: Writing task 2 - 4 checks required for band 8
Wow. Thanks a bunch.
Re: Writing task 2 - 4 checks required for band 8
You're welcome. Keep practising!
Kind regards
Teacher Jill
Kind regards
Teacher Jill