TASK2 I really need your corrections [ESSAY]

Post your Task 1 or 2 response and/or read the responses of other students and provide feedback.
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HL_Taker
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Joined: Wed Aug 19, 2015 4:04 pm

TASK2 I really need your corrections [ESSAY]

Post by HL_Taker »

Some people think women should be allowed to join the army, the navy and the air force just like men.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?


Women have the complete right to get careers just like men. However, the type of suitable careers differs depending on gender. It is disagreed that women should be allowed to attend the military service. This is because this sort of professions does not fit the physical and emotional nature of females.

It is a fact that females have weak bodies which does not allow them to accomplish military hard tasks. For example, women will not be able to stay under sun for many hours, left bombs, use heavy guns and hold out under war circumstances. In contrast, men have the ability to do these things easily and properly. Thus, females should not be permitted to get jobs in any military part.

Another reason why girls have to be prevented from joining military service is that they are so emotional and sensitive. This appears when a girl sees two males fighting each other, she directly cries. Males, on the other hand, possess hard hearts. For this reason, military jobs are not appropriate for females, and therefore they must be encouraged to look for other jobs.

After analyzing the physical and emotional weaknesses of women, it is very clear that they should not be allowed to join army, navy, air force or any other part of military sector. As a result, it is strongly recommended for all the military officials to not allow women to join professions which only fit men. Furthermore, there must be more provided opportunities for females to get appropriate careers.
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Flick
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Joined: Mon Apr 21, 2014 10:06 pm

Re: TASK2 I really need your corrections [ESSAY]

Post by Flick »

HL_Taker wrote:Some people think women should be allowed to join the army, the navy and the air force just like men.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?


Women have the complete right to get careers just like men. However, the type of suitable careers differ depending on gender. It is disagreed that women should be allowed to enter military service. This is because this sort of profession does not fit the physical and emotional nature of females.

It is a fact that females have weak bodies which do not allow them to accomplish military tasks. For example, women will not be able to stay under the sun for many hours, lift bombs, use heavy guns and hold out under war circumstances. In contrast, men have the ability to do these things easily and properly. Thus, females should not be permitted to get jobs in any military branch.

Another reason why girls have to be prevented from joining military service is that they are emotional and sensitive. For example, when a girl sees two males fighting each other, she cries. Males, on the other hand, possess hard hearts. For this reason, military jobs are not appropriate for females, and therefore they must be encouraged to look for other jobs.

After analyzing the physical and emotional weaknesses of women, it is very clear that they should not be allowed to join the army, navy, air force or any other military branch. As a result, it is strongly recommended to not allow women to join professions which only fit for men. Furthermore, there must be more provided opportunities for females to get appropriate careers.
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