Writing task 2 - need evaluation

[faty]

Recent trend in shopping has lately introduced an essence of entertainment. On the one hand, people assume shopping to be an appropriate source of spending leisure
time with family. Others consider it as a complete waste of time, on the other. However, if properly planned, activities such as shopping can bring cheerful moments
in life. A view point will be shared on how shopping strengthens relationship and build memories with related examples.

The most important aspect of shopping can be viewed as a source of strengthening relationship. It not only adds value, but also helps in understanding one's opinion.
For example, taking spouse to routine grocery would enable to spend more time together. Thus, showing care for the other one of not being forgotten even in the
simple chores of life. This example clearly reveals that cherishing the presence of relatives simply strengthens the bond.

In relation to the time spent, memories are built proportionally. The moment can be captured for the rest of life to be cherished and recalled.
Particularly, exchanging presents, make oneself feel even special. For instance, in most of the families, a cup of coffee is given as a sovenier to loved ones during
shopping to express love. Such valuable items are remeniscence of beauitful moments that were spent while shopping.

It clearly reveals that spending money to shop in this hectic routine, can play an essential role to release routine stress from lives with the loved ones.
Despite of being miserly in nature, one can enjoy even the routine shopping with pleasure.

[faty]

can some one please look into it.

[jesus]

I recommend you to use more strong examples in detail.

Please analyze my essay too.
Lets help each other.