Kindly check my writing task 2. Please provide your valuable feedback.

Post your Task 1 or 2 response and/or read the responses of other students and provide feedback.
Post Reply
ruchu
Posts: 3
Joined: Mon Jul 27, 2015 11:07 pm

Kindly check my writing task 2. Please provide your valuable feedback.

Post by ruchu »

Question: A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Write at least 250 words.


In today's world, there are are a vast majority of individuals who define the image of themselves in the society, as a mirror reflection of their wealth, top notch social status and an everlasting possession of valuable goods and properties. Perhaps, it is about time we realize other 'old fashioned' values of honour, compassion and trust which are all postioned at the highest level of hierarchy. This point will be analyzed in the following paragraphs.

A person's worth is based upon the facts that are inbuilt and aquired since a young age. Since a young age, children are often advised and educated by parents to follow good morals and become educated and highly civilized member of the society. This behaviour embodies in the child, shaping them into mature adults of the society. Hence it can be said that older memebers of the society perform the role of being role models for the younger generation. For instance, a person who shows compassion by helping the poor with financial support acts a good role model for the young children. This aids in providing individuals with a true identity of themselves, setting apart the materialistic gains of life, in hope benefiting as an individual and by making a postive impact to the growth of the society.

In addition, an individuals personality and values are an asset, which once developed can be reinforced in their daily lives and will without doubt be carried along with them throughout their life, regardless of any major or minor changes to their life. Take, as an example, a rich businessman who incurs significant finanacial losses in their business may eventually end up from living a very luxious lifestyle to a simple lifestyle. The assets associated to money may disappear, however values essential to a persons life such as honour, trust will not only assist in maintaining the respect of the individual in the society regardless of their financial condition but also attract trust of other members of the society who will be willing to provide any assistance possible from their side to help the affected individual.

It can be clearly seen that values of an individual outweighs the materialistic assets of the person. Therefore, there is disagrement with the above statement with strong beliefs that 'old fashsioned' values must be given utmost importance. Values an individual aquires must be at the forefront of their personality and belief.
User avatar
Flick
Grammar Checker
Grammar Checker
Posts: 1466
Joined: Mon Apr 21, 2014 10:06 pm

Re: Kindly check my writing task 2. Please provide your valuable feedback.

Post by Flick »

ruchu wrote:Question: A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Write at least 250 words.


In today's world, there are are a vast majority of individuals who define the image of themselves in society as a mirror reflection of their wealth, top notch social status and an ever-increasing possession of valuable goods and properties. Perhaps it is about time we realize other 'old fashioned' values of honour, compassion and trust are all positioned at the highest level of hierarchy. This point will be analyzed in the following paragraphs.

A person's worth is based upon the facts that are inbuilt and acquired from a young age. From infancy, children are often advised and educated by their parents to follow good morals and become an educated and highly civilized member of the society. This behaviour molds the child, shaping them into mature adults. Hence it can be said that older memebers of the society perform the role of being role models for the younger generation. For instance, a person who shows compassion by helping the poor with financial aid is a good role model for young children. This aids in providing individuals with a true understandingof themselves, setting apart the materialistic gains of life,benefiting as an individual and by making a positive impact to the growth of the society.

In addition, an individual's personality and values are an asset, which once developed can be reinforced in their daily lives and will without doubt be carried along with them throughout their life, regardless of any major or minor changes to their life. Take, as an example, a rich businessman who incurs significant financial losses in their business may eventually end up living a very simple lifestyle. The luxuries associated with money may disappear, however values essential to a person's life such as honour and trust will not only assist in maintaining the respect of the individual in the society regardless of their financial condition but also attract the trust of other members of the society who will be willing to provide any assistance possible from their side to help the affected individual.

It can be clearly seen that the values of an individual outweigh the materialistic assets of the person. Therefore, there is disagreement with the above statement with strong beliefs that 'old fashsioned' values must be given utmost importance.(<--This sentence doesn't make sense. You state that old-fashioned values are very important. But in this sentence you say that you disagree with this idea.) Values an individual acquires must be at the forefront of their personality and beliefs.
Post Reply