GT IELTS writing task 2. Please make the correction.

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faruk079
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GT IELTS writing task 2. Please make the correction.

Post by faruk079 »

In today's competitive world, many families find it necessary for both parents to go out to work. While some say the children in these families benefit from the additional income, others feel they lack support because of their parents' absence.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Answer:
The traditional view of a family in earning money has been changing progressively day by day. Nowadays, being very busy to support the family fiscally, parents cannot spend so much time with their children as it was in our time. Although the children as well as families become beneficial for this activity, some unwanted incidents have been reported that children were depressed because of getting not sufficient time from their parents. The next paragraphs will disclose the factual information regarding this.
Firstly, survival has become very tough in today’s life, because of which both father and mother are getting involved to earn money. As a result, the scenarios of mother’s staying at home and doing all the home works as well as keeping babies are being demolished. Though, families are becoming financially fortified, the bond among the family members is loosened.
Secondly, parents’ support and escort are the key precursors to be grown up in a more satisfactory way both physically as well as mentally. By chance, if they get in touch with any illegal activities, it would be very hard to get rid of it from them. For instance, I would mention a drug addicted girl who was my neighbor. I came to know that as her parents did job from 0800 to 2200, she could not get the affection from them which made her depressed, taking the drugs and at last committed suicide.
Finally, it might be necessary for parents to work for living a comfortable life. However, in that case, they must be cautious that they are able to take care of their children and spend enough time with them which will strengthen the bond among them. Furthermore, mothers could be persuaded to choose various diversified outsourcing jobs which do not need to go outside. Thus, she can not only spend her time with the babies but also can economically assist her family.
To conclude, I would like to say that the participation of both parents in earning money does not become debatable if it doesn’t affect the children’s life. If it is ensured, there will be no child crime which will result a happier and prosperous society.
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