IELTS GENERAL WRITING TASK 2 (REQ. BAND 8) - PLEASE EVALUATE

Post your Task 1 or 2 response and/or read the responses of other students and provide feedback.
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darkside
Posts: 5
Joined: Sat May 23, 2015 6:50 am

IELTS GENERAL WRITING TASK 2 (REQ. BAND 8) - PLEASE EVALUATE

Post by darkside »

Topic: Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on children. Do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Response:

In today's modern world, children's daily use of computer can be more harmful than advantageous. As far as I am concerned, this is not entirely true. Computers are considered by many as one of the most useful invention of the 21st century, which benefits children’s of all ages, in their personal, academic and professional life.

From personal point of view, it is one of the invaluable resource for young people to explore the world. For instance, children use the internet to satisfy their curiosity about diverse topics are already becoming independent learners. Another reason is that playing computer games helps develop cognitive capabilities in young children, according to the research done in America, playing video games boost children’s learning, health and social skills.

From academic perspective, children have no choice but to be expert this technology. For example, when I was in university, students brought their laptops to take notes and exchange information. They wrote assignments, created different applications and developed databases. Children who embrace and experience these abilities are at a distinct advantage over others.

From professional viewpoint, nowadays almost every company has accepted computers as their necessity to complete their work more efficiently. While today most employers provides computer training to their staff, in the future they will aspect job applicants to be literate in these critical skills. Consequently, parents who encourage their child to use computers at an early age are in fact investing in their future career growth.

In conclusion, there is no doubt that computer as a technological tool is here to stay. The sooner children learn to use and adopt to this advancement the better it would be for their future.
Last edited by darkside on Sat May 23, 2015 6:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.
darkside
Posts: 5
Joined: Sat May 23, 2015 6:50 am

Re: IELTS GENERAL WRITING TASK 2 (REQ. BAND 8) - PLEASE EVALUATE

Post by darkside »

Please evaluate my second essay. Thanks in advance.

Topic:
In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

Response:

The completion of high school marks threshold into adulthood for many students. Many people say taking time-off from education is better for prospective undergraduates. In my opinion, while this may seem a better idea initially but in the long term it is more disadvantageous. Apart from student requiring financial support, generally drawbacks of breaking from education are plenty including student’s risk of not completing graduation at all and wasting of time.

Firstly, students who choose employment after high school usually refrain from completing their college of undergraduate degree. For example, many of my friends after completing high school took entry-level jobs as Sales Representative in prestigious firms, which at the time looked lucrative. As a result, they failed to finish their studies, which meant their career prospects became very limited.

Secondly, student who disturb the rhythm of education by relaxing end up wasting their complete year and after that when they come back to study it gets difficult for them to transition into student life again. For instance, I have seen people going abroad on vacations to change their routine. After a while, they would come back and find it extremely difficult to settle in their old life. This is yet another reason why taking break is disadvantageous.

In conclusion, some people might disagree with me but as far as I am concerned, consequences of breaking education for a year outweigh its benefits. I believe that interruption in education have to be avoided unless is a serious matter. Hence, it is advised future university students not to indulge in halting their pattern of education.
darkside
Posts: 5
Joined: Sat May 23, 2015 6:50 am

Re: IELTS GENERAL WRITING TASK 2 (REQ. BAND 8) - PLEASE EVALUATE

Post by darkside »

Anyone please would appreciate any feedback.
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