Pls grade my essay- target Band 8

Post your Task 1 or 2 response and/or read the responses of other students and provide feedback.
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meengo
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Joined: Wed Feb 18, 2015 1:18 am

Pls grade my essay- target Band 8

Post by meengo »

Critiques would be highly appreciated. I am way over in my timings .. but I am trying to heighten my perspective at this stage.

Part 2 - Children are often forced to do works and other stuffs according to their teachers and parents. Some people think that this may result in difficulty for the students to take their own decisions in future. Discuss about the views'

There is an accumulation of research available to show various view points on inter-generational relationship.
Throughout the history it can be seen how elders are impacting younger's life. Many argued that old-generation should guide through the young ones for their career and other life decisions. However, this is refuted by others stating that such interference can make young generation inactive, irresponsible and indecisive. Both arguments will be discussed here before reaching to a well formed conclusion.

Old-generation has always acted as navigation radar for youth. Their Experiences and knowledge helps in leading youngers from childhood to adulthood. For Example, The chairman of Wipro Technologies, an Indian leading software company, has mentioned in his profile interview that how his school teacher inspired him and guided the path through a successful business tycoon. This shows the importance of effective guidance is needed to shape up a new life.

On the other hand, there are some examples where the existence has been suppressed and not permitted to experience what they desire in life due to the excessive control from their superior. For an instance, a very close friend of mine, I have seen, he look for his parents for every small decision in his life even the clothing he should wear or food he should consume. This seems a very pathetic control and a state of inactiveness of human being.

Following these views, this is needless to say that we appreciates a positive mentorship in order to develop a strong, positive and heightened outlook in life with self-determined, responsibility and lot of power of choice. It is expected that our experienced group will always be a counsellor to our future age as and when needed.

Thanks
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