My First Essay.Writing Task 2. please review it. Need 6 band

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Write about the following topic
Using a computer every day can have more negative then positive effects on young children.
Do you agree of disagree?
Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In this decade this question is quite common about daily computer use has bad or good effects on young children. It depends on how the children’s use the computer. Are they taking any benefit or just wasting their time. Let’s discuss the pros and cons to understand how it is useful and how it is harm for young children.

On on hand, there are so many benefits of computer use in daily life. Children’s can take a lot of help using computer. For example if anyone facing difficulty in home work or any other topic they can find out the solution, they can search the relevant material. Furthermore, instead of going to the library and finding the books, they can search the required stuff on internet after typing a few keywords. It will save time as well as it will give a wide range of choices in minimum time. I also would like to take an example of my friend kids, they use computer daily for few hours but only for educational purpose. They also spend some time to explore new trends in education. As a result, they are quite intelligent and holding positions in their class.

On the other hand, daily computer use might be harmful in young children. If the children are not taking it seriously and misuse the computer, Instead of doing the homework or taking any educational help, they spend more time playing games as well as chatting with different friends. If you spend most of your time in front of computer, it might be harmful for our eyes as well as on your health. I also would like to take the example of my cousin kids, they are addicted of computer use. When they comeback from school they spend most of the time in front of computer and spend most of the time playing games. Therefore, they are not performing well in the education and they are also not health because they don’t get much time for physical activities.

In conclusion, I am disagreed on that way if the children use the computer for their study purpose and after get the help they shutdown it. I’m agreed if children misuse it instead of taking the study help they spend their time to playing games as well as chatting.