Please assess my essay and let me know of flaws also

[kmommom]

Without capital punishment (the death penalty) our lives are less secure and crimes of violence increase. Capital punishment is essential to control violence in society.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

I thoroughly agree with the proposition, capital punishment should be made mandatory in our society, where crime ratio is being increased day by day because we live in a world where people are not even certain about how they are going to return, either on legs or on shoulders. There is a law of physics, which is known as "Murphy's Law", which states that "Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong". So whose duty is it to make it right again?

To start with, the ratio of crime and terrorism is being so increased exponentially. People feel unsafe, even being at their own homes. Criminals show no compassion or mercy to those who are being held by them as captives. I do not know what they get by doing such heinous and diabolical acts. In my opinion, death penalty should be made as an essential punishment for those criminals and insurgents who love to annihilate the humanity or the society we live in, where people get massacred brutally just like flies in air. The good example of this is in most of middle-eastern countries where criminals get beheaded or hanged publicly for their wrongdoings, that is why their crime ratio is equivalent to almost zero. Crime is afterall a crime, irrespective of how big or small it is. By this i mean that, adopting such policy might frightens those criminals and make them to think at least ten times before bringing any kind of furor among citizen and annihilate them.

On the other hand, many people or activists think that criminals are also humans so they also deserve another chance to rectify themselves to become a better citizen in future.

From these facts, I would maintain that, no human-being happens to be an insurgent, criminal or terrorist by birth. It is just the time which plays as a best teacher for some and worst for some.

[saqibali]

Please use correct use of words.

[kmommom]

Please use correct use of words.

Thanks for the reply
Can you be more specific and tell me what words should be used?

[jpborralho]

I don't think your main problem is actually the ability to write properly saqibali. I don't know about the score band you are aiming for, but anyway, to me at least, you should try to develop a bit more sofisticated/elegant wording.

And another word of advice: Take care with the positions you support. I would not say this if I were you: "capital punishment should be made mandatory in our society". You are choosing a very slippery path.