PLZ assess this essay

[Marco]

Nowadays,different people have different preferences in their lifestyles.Some prefer to stick to the same things and are fear of changing.However,others believe that change is suitable for them.

Keeping doing the same things is an intelligent method to avoid getting into trouble.If people start to do something they have not experienced before or they even do not know about it,they may make a few mistakes.For example,changing a job is a frequent idea to do something different and experience an unfamiliar environment.But after changing the occupant,you perhaps find it hard to get into the new circulation and feel upset working there.In addition,avoiding change is efficient idea that can skip the risk of explosing the unknown field.Because as we know,you may face some difficulties that is not expected after changing the lifestyle or work space.And it takes a amount of time to tackle the difficulties.

As we get bored to do the same things,change is always a good thing.Everyone will get tired after doing one job for years,and you will fulfill your potential after getting a stimulating job.What is more,changing is an opportunity to experience more things in the world,and it can boarden your horizon,increase your competition skills as well.With all the new coming into your life,you will feel totally refreshed and fall into love with the new environment.You can gain a better understanding of the world when you choose to charge,because changing means experiencing different life patterns.

Overall,I believe changing is an exciting method to live a better life.Although,it does not necessarily have good outcomes,at least,it offers an opportunity to make a difference.

[rahm]

Nowadays,different people have different preferences in their lifestyles.Some prefer to stick to the same things and are fear of changing.However,others believe that change is suitable for them.

(Keep) Keeping doing the same things is an intelligent method to avoid (the) (cut = getting into) trouble. If people start to do something (that) they (do not have) have not (experience) experienced before (,) or they (cut even) even do not know about it, they may make a few mistakes. For example, changing a job is a frequent idea to do something different (,) and (it will give someone the experience about unfamiliar environment) experience an unfamiliar environment. (But, and, or, so are not allowed to used in the first sentence. It might be the best option for you to use "On the other hand,") But after changing the occupant (occupation), (perhaps you will find) you perhaps find it hard to get into the new circulation (,) and (you will) feel upset (about) working there. In addition, avoiding change is (an) efficient idea that can skip the risk of explosing the unknown field (explosion). Because as we know, you may face some difficulties that (are) is not expected after (change) changing the lifestyle or work space. (It will also take some time) "please reduce and, a word") And it takes a amount of time to tackle the difficulties.

As we get bored to do the same things, change (can also be) is always a good thing. Everyone will get (tire) tired after doing one job for years, and (someone) you will fulfill your potential after getting a stimulating job. What is more (?), changing is an opportunity to experience more things (?) in the world, and it can boarden (?) your horizon, (and it can) increase your competition skills as well (as you need). With all the new (input that based from your experience,) coming into your life, you will feel totally (fresh) refreshed (,) and (you will) fall (in) into love with (reduce "the") the new environment. You can gain a better understanding of the world when you choose to charge, because changing means experiencing different life patterns.

Overall,I believe changing is an exciting method to live a better life. Although,it does not necessarily have good outcomes, at least, it offers an opportunity to make a difference.

Hello Marco!! I did some changes to your essay too. Hehe. You did great.
In writing, you should try to write at least 250 words for task 2.
See the plural and singular words that you use. Give the attention to the sentences that you made, are them have a subject and also a verb?
do not forget to use a space after coma, or not. hehe
best of luck for you

[Flick]

Nowadays,different people have different preferences in their lifestyles.Some prefer to stick to the same things and are fear of changing.However,others believe that change is suitable for them.

Repeating the same things is an intelligent method to avoid getting into trouble. If people start to do something they have not experienced before or they do not know about, they may make a few mistakes. For example, changing jobs is a common way of trying something different and experiencing an unfamiliar environment. But after changing roles, you perhaps find it hard to fit in and feel upset working there. In addition, avoiding change help prevent being stuck in an unknown field. Because as we know,you may face some difficulties that is not expected after changing the lifestyle or work space.(<--Reword to: "If you change your lifestyle or job, you will almost certainly face difficulties as you adjust to the change.") And it takes time to tackle these difficulties.

As we get bored with the same things, change can be seen as a good thing. Everyone will get tired of doing the same job for years, and you will fulfill your potential after getting a stimulating job. What is more, changing is an opportunity to experience more things in the world, and it can broaden your horizons and increase your competition skills. With all the new coming into your life, you will feel totally refreshed and fall in love with the new environment. You can gain a better understanding of the world when you choose to change, because changing means experiencing different life patterns.

Overall, I believe changing is an exciting method to live a better life. Although it does not necessarily have good outcomes, at least it offers an opportunity to make a difference.

Don't forget, there should be a space after commas and full-stops.
Good job!