Writing task 2. Please assess my writing

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kiaconchim
Posts: 18
Joined: Wed Dec 10, 2014 11:25 pm

Writing task 2. Please assess my writing

Post by kiaconchim »

Explain some of the ways in which humans are damaging the environment. What can governments do to address these problems? What can individual people do?

The environment has been heavily impacted by humans’ activities, but it is not too late for us to take steps to reduce those damages that we are causing to the planet. This essay will discuss environmental problems and offer solutions that governments and individuals can use to address these problems.

Gas emission and waste are the top two biggest threats to the environment. With the numbers of vehicles and factories increasing on a daily basis, gas emission and exhaust fumes can lead to global warming, which will bring devastating results to the planet in the near future. Human population is also rising, producing ever greater quantities of waste, which contaminates the earth and pollutes rivers and oceans.

Governments can mitigate the effects of such activities by set out limits on gas emission from factories, and force them to operate by renewable energy such as solar, wind, or water power. Additionally, they can impose some “green taxes” on drivers and airline companies. With these actions, citizens will be encouraged to use public transport, and companies will exert stricter control over the amount of gas that they emit.

Individuals’ cooperation is also important in the saving the environment mission. People can form groups to conduct campaigns to raise the awareness of global warming and environmental pollution. For smaller scale measures, shoppers should use more recyclable or reusable packaging instead of plastic bags in supermarkets and other stores. Besides, waste classification at home should be carried out properly in order to help the recycling process. By reusing and recycling, we can contribute to a healthier living environment.

In conclusion, governments and individuals should cooperate to tackle those problems affecting our planet.
Last edited by kiaconchim on Wed Feb 25, 2015 10:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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OnlineEnglishTeacher
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Re: Writing task 2. Please assess my writing

Post by OnlineEnglishTeacher »

I thought this was very good - I usually recommend my students to start sentences with advanced words, instead of words like "The..." - http://www.onlineenglishteacher.org/en/ ... -sentences.

Explain some of the ways in which humans are damaging the environment. What can governments do to address these problems? What can individual people do?

The environment has been heavily impacted by humans’ activities, but it is not too late for us to take steps to reduce ("the damage") those damages that we are causing to the planet. This essay will discuss environmental problems and offer solutions that governments and individuals can use to address these problems.

Gas emission and waste are the top two biggest threats to the environment. With the numbers of vehicles and factories increasing on a daily basis, gas emission and exhaust fumes can lead to global warming, which will bring devastating results to the planet in the near future. Human population is also rising, producing ever greater quantities of waste, which contaminates the earth and pollutes rivers and oceans.

Governments can mitigate the effects of such activities by ("setting") set out limits on gas emission from factories, and force them to operate by renewable energy such as solar, wind, or water power. Additionally, they can impose some “green taxes” on drivers and airline companies. With these actions, citizens will be encouraged to use public transport, and companies will exert stricter control over the amount of gas that they emit.

Individuals’ cooperation is also important in the saving the environment mission. People can form groups to conduct campaigns to raise the awareness of global warming and environmental pollution. For smaller scale measures, shoppers should use more recyclable or reusable packaging instead of plastic bags in supermarkets and other stores. Besides, waste classification at home should be carried out properly in order to help the recycling process. By reusing and recycling, we can contribute to a healthier living environment.

In conclusion, governments and individuals should cooperate to tackle those problems affecting our planet.
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kiaconchim
Posts: 18
Joined: Wed Dec 10, 2014 11:25 pm

Re: Writing task 2. Please assess my writing

Post by kiaconchim »

OnlineEnglishTeacher wrote:I thought this was very good - I usually recommend my students to start sentences with advanced words, instead of words like "The..." - http://www.onlineenglishteacher.org/en/ ... -sentences.

Explain some of the ways in which humans are damaging the environment. What can governments do to address these problems? What can individual people do?

The environment has been heavily impacted by humans’ activities, but it is not too late for us to take steps to reduce ("the damage") those damages that we are causing to the planet. This essay will discuss environmental problems and offer solutions that governments and individuals can use to address these problems.

Gas emission and waste are the top two biggest threats to the environment. With the numbers of vehicles and factories increasing on a daily basis, gas emission and exhaust fumes can lead to global warming, which will bring devastating results to the planet in the near future. Human population is also rising, producing ever greater quantities of waste, which contaminates the earth and pollutes rivers and oceans.

Governments can mitigate the effects of such activities by ("setting") set out limits on gas emission from factories, and force them to operate by renewable energy such as solar, wind, or water power. Additionally, they can impose some “green taxes” on drivers and airline companies. With these actions, citizens will be encouraged to use public transport, and companies will exert stricter control over the amount of gas that they emit.

Individuals’ cooperation is also important in the saving the environment mission. People can form groups to conduct campaigns to raise the awareness of global warming and environmental pollution. For smaller scale measures, shoppers should use more recyclable or reusable packaging instead of plastic bags in supermarkets and other stores. Besides, waste classification at home should be carried out properly in order to help the recycling process. By reusing and recycling, we can contribute to a healthier living environment.

In conclusion, governments and individuals should cooperate to tackle those problems affecting our planet.
Yes. Thanks for the advice. Any other correction you want to make on my essay?
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