please friend rate this essay..my aim is above 6.5.

[tina sharma]

Some people feel that young people face more pressure today than the equivalent age groups did in previous generations. Others think they have a much easier life than their parents did. What is your opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some centuries ago, people used to have a major concern on acquiring an enormous amount of food for their survival. Nevertheless, this issue has been solved in 21st century, and individuals have a heap of aims to grab. Certain people have concluded that present generation is much more lucky enough to experiences an easy life in comparision to the residents a decade ago. However, In my opinion, citizenries are facing more harsh condition in present world than people in primitive years.
Certainly, although nowadays, the technologies have changed the lifestyles of people, these are equally intensifying a probability of horrid criminal environment. It means, it is fairly surging the rate of more crimes and less trust which eventually eradicating the level of a safety in a society or either overall in the whole world. Does such situation makes a life easier? I think probably not, it even upgrades a sense of violence, quarrel and no identity of peace. Also, due to an advancement in medical science, citizenries are fortunate to live a more lives. It is to say that, more elderly population lead to a lack of food supply equally in every corner of the world. Another, people, nowadays, have to pay a thick money to consume their basic needs. Thus, today's life for young people is much more perilous and complicated.
Furthermore, although young generations are far moe educated, the package of tension is underlying factor which frustruated them massively. Moreover, the chancces to grant an employment is improbable for people, even they are well-qualified and graduated from a famous university. To be more specific, individuals in past, who completed their 10th standard used to get more priorities, and also an opportunity to be a part of high post in a job. However, it is quite sophisticated in today's generation. For instance, people who have professional belongings are only favourable in 21st century. Thence, a life of young people is more unadorned in present days.
In conclusion, Sompe people have been stated that life is better in current than those in past. But, I hold the opposite opinion, as it is more captious to survive in the recent world. I strongly recommend that government must be deemed on such situation and provide job facilities to young leaders. Also citizenries must develop a feeling of comradery, which will makes a life more safe and easy.

[Khalidsultani]

Some people feel that young people face more pressure today than the equivalent age groups did in previous generations. Others think they have a much easier life than their parents did. What is your opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some centuries ago, people used to have a major concern on acquiring an [ not required in my opinion] enormous amount of food for their survival. Nevertheless, this issue has been solved in 21st century, and individuals have a heap of aims to grab. Certain people have concluded that present generation is much more lucky enough to experiences an easy life in comparision compare to the residents a decade ago. However, In my opinion, citizenries are facing more harsh conditions in present world than people in of primitive years.

[ to make your intro more concise just write
Some centuries ago, people used to have a major concern on acquiring an [ not required in my opinion] enormous amount of food for their survival. Nevertheless, this issue has been solved in 21st century, and individuals have a heap of aims to grab.]


Certainly, [not required] although nowadays, the technologies have changed the [omit it ] lifestyles of people, these are equally intensifying a probability of horrid criminal environment.

It means, it is fairly surging the rate of more crimes and less trust which eventually eradicating the level of a safety in a society or either overall in the whole world. Does such situation makes a life easier? I think probably not, it even upgrades a sense of violence, quarrel and no identity of peace. Also, due to an advancement in medical science, citizenries are fortunate to live a more lives. It is to say that, more elderly population lead to a lack of food supply equally in every corner of the world.
Another, people, nowadays, have to pay a thick money to consume their basic needs. Thus, today's life for young people is much more perilous and complicated. [ what is the central theme of this paragraph what message you want to convey]

Furthermore, although young generations are far moe [ remove it what is moe] more educated, the package of tension is underlying factor which frustruated them massively. Moreover, the chancces to grant an employment is improbable for people, even they are well-qualified and graduated from a famous university. To be more specific, individuals in past, who completed their 10th standard used to get more priorities, and also an opportunity to be a part of high post in a job. However, it is quite sophisticated in today's generation. For instance, people who have professional belongings are only favourable in 21st century. Thence, a life of young people is more unadorned in present days.
In conclusion, Sompe people have been stated that life is better in current than those in past. But, I hold the opposite opinion, as it is more captious to survive in the recent world. I strongly recommend that government must be deemed on such situation and provide job facilities to young leaders. Also citizenries must develop a feeling of comradery, which will makes a life more safe and easy.

1. you have good range of vocabulary to score 7 and above.
2. Divide your paragraph in to the following structure.
intro
- brief info
- some agree (point)
- your opinion in general

first body paragraph Some disagree points ( example)
second body paragraph your point ( example)
Conclusion

3. make sure your paragraphs have central theme about what you are talking , use one example and expand that end that paragraph with your inference ( final thought or result)
4. use more objects to connect your sentences.

[tina sharma]

thank you,, is my grammer okay? or should i have to do more practices on grammer?

[Khalidsultani]

thank you,, is my grammer okay? or should i have to do more practices on grammer?

i think you are fine with grammar just need to improve use more pronoun also for linking sentences , just work on central theme of paragraph and use short sentences.
this website will help you .
http://blog.highpoint-ieltsprep.com/201 ... rtant.html

best of luck with your exam.

[tina sharma]

please rate this essay.. now i have improved on pronoun....please give some suggestion whether it is okay or not.... my exam is on 13 Dec.... please please help....


Online shopping is replacing shopping in stores. Do you think it is a positive or a negative development?

Technology has changed our lifestyles hugely. In today's globalised world, online shopping is strikingly taking place of shopping mall and stores. Although, it benefits people in some extent, its negative influences on them outweigh positive ones.
In this present scenario, we can see, many people are business person, who does not have an enough time to be shopper. For them, online shopping is a great postive gift. Similarly, it not only sustain them by saving their a worthwhile time, but also provides them a huge options of products' brand on a single screen. That means, they easily can make a choice on their prefered accessories or products. Fortunately, they can even sell their old products too through online shopping. For instance, an Ebay is one of the most popular website, where any old goods can be exchanged in an efficient way. Thus, online shopping is an enviable for every people.
However, it not only consumes some benefits, but also a heap of negative effects in the world. Firstly, if inhabitants often lean on online shopping, it will makes them more lazy to roam around the local shops. Also, it will eradicates their interaction among another residents, which eventualy will turns them into solitary groups. Secondly, an effectiveness of such shopping can makes people to waste their money hapahazardly. Surely, such activities of spending can result into an economic crisis in their lives in the future days. Another, local shops and shopping malls may came to faced a huge loss of economy, due to absence of consumers. Last but not least is, there will be the chances of receiving the theft goods and defactive ones as well, which is not a minor things for consumers. Truely, it affects on their economic balances. Thus, an excessive dependancy on online shopping can leads to a poverty in peoples' lives.
In conclusion, considering a huge number of disadvantages of online shopping on consumers' and sellers' lives or as a whole in the world. In my opinion, such shopping is totally a negative development.

[Khalidsultani]

please rate this essay.. now i have improved on pronoun....please give some suggestion whether it is okay or not.... my exam is on 13 Dec.... please please help....


Online shopping is replacing shopping in stores. Do you think it is a positive or a negative development?

Technology has changed our lifestyles hugely. In today's globalised world, online shopping is strikingly taking place of shopping mall and stores. Although, it benefits people in some extent, its negative influences on them outweigh positive ones.
In this present scenario, we can see, many people are business person, who does not have an enough time to be shopper. For them, online shopping is a great postive gift. Similarly, it not only sustain them by saving their a worthwhile time, but also provides them a huge options of products' brand on a single screen. That means, they easily can make a choice on their prefered accessories or products. Fortunately, they can even sell their old products too through online shopping. For instance, an Ebay is one of the most popular website, where any old goods can be exchanged in an efficient way. Thus, online shopping is an enviable for every people.
However, it not only consumes some benefits, but also a heap of negative effects in the world. Firstly, if inhabitants often lean on online shopping, it will makes them more lazy to roam around the local shops. Also, it will eradicates their interaction among another residents, which eventualy will turns them into solitary groups. Secondly, an effectiveness of such shopping can makes people to waste their money hapahazardly. Surely, such activities of spending can result into an economic crisis in their lives in the future days. Another, local shops and shopping malls may came to faced a huge loss of economy, due to absence of consumers. Last but not least is, there will be the chances of receiving the theft goods and defactive ones as well, which is not a minor things for consumers. Truely, it affects on their economic balances. Thus, an excessive dependancy on online shopping can leads to a poverty in peoples' lives.
In conclusion, considering a huge number of disadvantages of online shopping on consumers' and sellers' lives or as a whole in the world. In my opinion, such shopping is totally a negative development.

hi tina good use of pronouns though there are some spelling mistakes your can copy and paste that in Microsoft word and check for spelling mistakes.
1. first it is too much 339 word reduce that to 270 words.
2. again i emphasis on centeral them of main paragraph.
see in disagree portion
first you talk less time giving to roaming around , then again lack of interaction , economy crisis, receiving defective items,lost to others ( so at last it will make the user confuse what you really want to point out.)
- just take two points ( Economy ,Social Effect)
- for economy 2 statements.
- for social effect 2 statements
- real example.
- end your paragraph.

i will rephrase some of the passage you wrote not at best , but hope it will be suitable to you.

Firstly, if inhabitants often lean on online shopping, it will makes them more lazy to roam around the local shops. Also, it will eradicates their interaction among another residents, which eventualy will turns them into solitary groups.

Firstly , Depending of Consumers on online shopping alone will provide them much less time to interact with others. This will turn them into solitary groups of society.

Secondly, an effectiveness of such shopping can makes people to waste their money hapahazardly. Surely, such activities of spending can result into an economic crisis in their lives in the future days. Another, local shops and shopping malls may came to faced a huge loss of economy, due to absence of consumers. Last but not least is, there will be the chances of receiving the theft goods and defactive ones as well, which is not a minor things for consumers. Truely, it affects on their economic balances. Thus, an excessive dependancy on online shopping can leads to a poverty in peoples' lives.

Secondly , Online shopping will put significant effect on business of local shops owners. they may eventually close their business due to decrease incurred in their profit which is caused by online shopping websites. This massive change will bring imbalances in people life.for instance , to earn or manage their business at profitable level shop owners might fire some of their staffs. furthermore ,the product they get through online business may not match as their expected product quality.

[snehagupta]

Schools concentrate far too much on traditional subjects which do not adequately prepare students for the realistic demands of the modern working world. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In present scenario, Child eduaction plays a prominent role in the Technology World, where school is the starting phase of an eduaction. Mostly school focuses on traditional subjects which could not prepare student for the outside modern working world.School should pay equal attention to the students interest. If one has interest in Computer related subjects then Parents/ Teacher should not emphasis on Traditional subjects.
In contrast to traditional subjects, many other subjects are important in child education as these subjects build student for the realistic world of technology. Technology is growing vast day by day, hence it is required for a child to prepare theoretically to fight later practically.
There are plathora of schools opening day by day but it the duty of a Government to strictly supervision the educational courses. Multiple subjects distract students mind and fail to focus on most important subjects like Science, Computers etc.Strict policies must be followed in order to open a new School.
With the advent of technology, competition is increasing day by day. People are not getting Jobs very easily, a person who has technical abilities only he can survive in market. Nowadays colleges also conducting a placement campus where a student get Job on the basis of theory cum technical knowledge.
So , i do agree with the point that School are really not concentrate too much on technical subjects rather than Traditional subjects because today generation are struggling a lot in order to get employed in a reputed MNC.At the end I recommend schools to take effective actions to rectify the present eduaction system so that we can see Joy, Happiness, Enthusiasm around the world and then offering a successful world to the generations to come.

[tina sharma]

Thank you for your suggestions.. I really appreciate with your help. I'll definately follow those words....However, i have heard somewhere that minimum words arre 250 and maximum words are 350..

what will be the band of that essay..? please please help me..

Some people think that universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills needed in the workplace. Others think that the true function of a university should be to give access to knowledge for its own sake regardless of whether the course is useful to an employee.
What, in your opinion, should be the main function of a university?

University education has become a matter of discussion among the people. Some argue that it should be totally job-oriented, whilst others oppose these views saying it should not be the requirements of the workforce. However, In my opnion, university should be focused on the course required in the future workplace.
In this present scenario, humans' lives have become a complicated to survive, due to a poor financial backgrounds. Considering this issue, people are often preparing themselves, working hard on their education since their secondary school, in order to achieved a good job with an attractive salary in the future days. In recent times, if university does not dispersed a job-oriented educations and skills, then it will be a very sophisticated for one to get a job of their choice. This will be totally a waste of their hard work, the dedication and the money that they have invested into their education.
On the other hand, provision of knowledges which are non-relevant to job may sustain the people to be intellectually talents, and somewhere to think critically and to come up with a novel ideas. However, such information may not be fruitful for them in the context of granting a suitable work. In present generation, doing job means not only to work, but also to fortify the living standards, which is now cardinal concerned of every peoples'. Thus, higher a good education relevant to job, higher the level of happiness including a better living styles.
In conclusion, it has been contemplated that educations and skills ,which are not related to the workforce create an unprecedented impinge on peoples' lives. Therfore, I personally believe, university should give a prodigious priority on future jobs too whilst providing education to graduates.

[Khalidsultani]

Thank you for your suggestions.. I really appreciate with your help. I'll definately follow those words....However, i have heard somewhere that minimum words arre 250 and maximum words are 350..

what will be the band of that essay..? please please help me..

Some people think that universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills needed in the workplace. Others think that the true function of a university should be to give access to knowledge for its own sake regardless of whether the course is useful to an employee.
What, in your opinion, should be the main function of a university?

University education has become a matter of discussion among the people. Some argue that it should be totally job-oriented, whilst others oppose these views saying it should not be the requirements of the workforce. However, In my opnion, university should be focused on the course required in the future workplace.
In this present scenario, humans' lives have become a complicated to survive, due to a poor financial backgrounds. Considering this issue, people are often preparing themselves, working hard on their education since their secondary school, in order to achieved a good job with an attractive salary in the future days. In recent times, if university does not dispersed a job-oriented educations and skills, then it will be a very sophisticated for one to get a job of their choice. This will be totally a waste of their hard work, the dedication and the money that they have invested into their education.
On the other hand, provision of knowledges which are non-relevant to job may sustain the people to be intellectually talents, and somewhere to think critically and to come up with a novel ideas. However, such information may not be fruitful for them in the context of granting a suitable work. In present generation, doing job means not only to work, but also to fortify the living standards, which is now cardinal concerned of every peoples'. Thus, higher a good education relevant to job, higher the level of happiness including a better living styles.
In conclusion, it has been contemplated that educations and skills ,which are not related to the workforce create an unprecedented impinge on peoples' lives. Therfore, I personally believe, university should give a prodigious priority on future jobs too whilst providing education to graduates.

dear tina,
since i am not ielts examiner it will be very difficult to give you band score, but as i guess you may not get above 6 or 6.5 i will provide you some essays example written by harshaabba, look at those essay and rephrase your essays.
her essays look like 7.5 and above.
it is very difficult to get 7 and above in ielts writing you need to impress examiners.
your arguments need to be strong .
sentence cohesion and cohesiveness.
and how easy it is to follow.
my suggestion to you is it is very difficult to follow your essay , since you change topics main idea by giving several examples of different type , stick to one example and elaborate that.
you do not need to write more then 270 words.(just download a ielts written format from internet in ietls exam task1 and task2 has same paper and formatting layout , so make sure you test your number of words in task1 and apply that to task2 , becouse in exam you will not find time to count the number of words you write , normally you need to write around 25-27 lines ( counting 10 words per line)). i lost huge mark on writing less i got band 6 though my arguments were strong (this is because i miscalculated the format i downloaded and the format i found out on ielts exam were different , at last 10 minutes i found out that i wrote around 180-200 words and got low mark))

http://www.ieltsnetwork.com/viewtopic.php?t=3508
http://www.ieltsnetwork.com/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=3508
thanks

[Khalidsultani]

Schools concentrate far too much on traditional subjects which do not adequately prepare students for the realistic demands of the modern working world. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In present scenario, Child eduaction plays a prominent role in the Technology World, where school is the starting phase of an eduaction. Mostly school focuses on traditional subjects ,which could not prepare students for the outside[remove it] modern working world.Schools should pay equal attentions to the [remove it] students interest. If one has interest in Computer related subjects then Parents/ Teachers should not emphasis on Traditional subjects.

In contrast to traditional subjects and many other subjects are important in child education .these subjects build students for the realistic world of technology. Technology is growing vast day by day, hence it is required for a child to prepare theoretically to fight later practically.
There are plathora of schools opening day by day but it is the duty of a the Government to strictly supervision Supervise educational courses. Multiple subjects distract students mind and fail to focus on most important subjects like Science, Computers etc.Strict policies must be followed in order to open a [remove it] new Schools concentrating on specialized subjects.
With the advent of technology, competition is increasing day by day. People are not getting Jobs very easily, a person who has technical abilities only he can only survive in job market. Nowadays colleges are also conducting to create a placement campus where a student get Job on the basis of theory cum technical knowledge obtained during college life.
So , i do agree with the points that Schools are really not concentrate too much on technical subjects rather than Traditional subjects because today's generation are struggling a lot in order to get employed in a reputed MNC [ do not use short form use multinational Company instead].
At the end [ use In Conclusion,] I recommend schools to take effective actions to rectify the present eduaction system so that we can see Joy, Happiness, Enthusiasm around the world and then offering offer a successful world to the generations to come.

rephrase of your conclusion,

In conclusion , i recommend schools to take effective actions in order to rectify the present education system.this will bring immense effect on live of future generations ,which will led them to have peaceful ,prosperous and happy society.

snehagupta ,

1. your essay looks like band 6 or 6.5 , just concentrate on grammar more , singular and plural subjects and verbs.
2. make sure on capitalization.
3.your flow of statements are very good easy to understand (each paragraphy has centeral point good).