Academic task 2 - school vs. home teaching

[czary]

Could you grade my essay please?

Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child’s development while others think that it is important for children to go to school.

Education was carried at homes for centuries. There were not schools. Teachers were hired for wealthy people. The poor could not afford for teachers so their children did not take any education. The most people were illiterate. Then appeared voices that more education could improving life of all class of society. So schools were established, but education at home was still popular at wealthier homes. Both school and education at home have some advantages and disadvantages.
Teaching children at home gives them more opportunity to understand any subject. All attention is paying to one pupil and every question is answered. There is no possibility to cheat or be unprepared to lesson. Students could develop their interesting in any subject very easily. This is the better way to be very good prepared for every exam. But, in general, this is the most expensive way to have well educated child. Children, who are educated alone, have less friends and colleagues, are more selfish and could have difficulties in adult life.
School, again in general, is reasonably cheaper than home education. There is less attention for one pupil but among more children is some kind of rivalry. Students learn because want to be better than friend or colleague. They meet more people so their life is more civilized. Friendship for all life starts very often in school. Adult life has less mysteries for them than for children educated at homes. However there are more violence, more opportunity to meet bad company and finally end school without any education.
In conclude, school has more advantages because not only teach, but also socialize pupils. And for parenting two of the most important subjects are good education and good breeding. It is the best preparing for adult life.

[umairomee]

Task Response: Position is not clear and task is sufficiently addressed.

Coherency and Cohesion: Linking and cohesive devices are not used efficiently.

Lexical Resource: Adequate vocabulary is used but some inappropriate word choices impede the message.

Grammatical Range and accuracy:
Small sentence are mostly error free. Complex sentences are attempted but grammatical errors are causing difficulty to understand the message.

Score: 5 to 5.5

[czary]

Thank you very much!

[blackbee045]

Both school and education at home have some advantages and disadvantages.
Teaching children at home gives them more opportunity to understand any subject. All attention is paying to one pupil and every question is answered. There is no possibility to cheat or be unprepared to lesson. Students could develop their interesting in any subject very easily. This is the better way to be very good prepared for every exam. But, in general, this is the most expensive way to have well educated child. Children, who are educated alone, have less friends and colleagues, are more selfish and could have difficulties in adult life.???