Please comment - GT TASK 1 COMPLAINT LETTER

[charles205]

You have bought a mobile phone in a tax-free shop just a few days ago, and it doesn't work properly. Write a letter to the manger to complaint about it and ask him to solve the problem.

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing to complain about the mobile phone which I purchased in your duty free shop couple of days ago.

I bought a Nokia 250 smart phone on 25th October as a present to my mother on her 50th birthday. For the first two days it worked fine and suddenly got stuck when she opened multiple applications. I was so surprised to learn this from her, because this was a quite expensive one you had in your shop. Furthermore, the volume button found not working properly and the ringing volume was very poor. Imagine my mother's feelings when she had such unpleasant user experience which caused her much inconvenience as well.

Naturally, I returned the phone to you to be replaced with a new one. Your assistant refused to replace and as a solution offered that I had it repaired which would take one week time.
I am so disappointed with both the phone and the service I have received. Therefore, I insist you to send me a new phone as soon as possible.
I am looking forward to hear your immediate response.

Yours faithfully,
Mr. Smith

[charles205]

Hi Guys
Pls comment

[charles205]

Pls evaluate this letter writing.

[charles205]

where are the good people who evaluate and criticize when posted.

[argho1985]

You have bought a mobile phone in a tax-free shop just a few days ago, and it doesn't work properly. Write a letter to the manger to complaint about it and ask him to solve the problem.

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing to complain about the mobile phone which I purchased in your duty free shop couple of days ago.

I bought a Nokia 250 smart phone on 25th October as a present to my mother on her 50th birthday. For the first two days it worked fine and suddenly got stuck when she opened multiple applications. I was so surprised to learn this from her, because this was a quite expensive one you had in your shop. Furthermore, the volume button found not working properly and the ringing volume was very poor. Imagine my mother's feelings when she had such unpleasant user experience which caused her much inconvenience as well.

Naturally, I returned the phone to you to be replaced with a new one. Your assistant refused to replace and as a solution offered that I had it repaired which would take one week time.
I am so disappointed with both the phone and the service I have received. Therefore, I insist you to send me a new phone as soon as possible.
I am looking forward to hear your immediate response.

Yours faithfully,
Mr. Smith

Hi,

Language is quite casual and it will make your band down. Additionally, absence of vocabulary is seen in many cases followed by less usage of linking words.

Argho

[Flick]

You have bought a mobile phone in a tax-free shop just a few days ago, and it doesn't work properly. Write a letter to the manger to complain about it and ask him to solve the problem.

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing to complain about the mobile phone which I purchased in your duty free shop a couple of days ago.

I bought a Nokia 250 smart phone on 25th October as a present for my mother on her 50th birthday. For the first two days it worked fine, then suddenly got stuck when she opened multiple applications. I was so surprised to learn this from her, because this was an expensive model. Furthermore, the volume button is not working properly and the ringing volume is very poor. Imagine my mother's feelings when she had such an unpleasant user experience which caused her much inconvenience.

Naturally, I returned the phone to you to be replaced with a new one. Your assistant refused to replaceit and instead suggested that I have it repaired which would take one week.

I am so disappointed with both the phone and the service I have received. Therefore, I ask that you send me a new phone as soon as possible.
I am looking forward to hearing your immediate response.

Yours faithfully,
Mr. Smith

[allen_zhang]

To me, It's quite a nice written piece.
Just curious, can you put "Mr. Smith" at the end of the letter? should it be something like "John Smith"?

I am also presenting my work:
I am writing with regard to a mobile phone I bought from your shop recently, as I am quite unsatisfied with its quality.

I bought a Samsung Note 2 at your duty free shop at the Hong Kong International Airport on last Friday September 20th. I tested it at your shop and everything worked just fine. However, just a few days later, there were some problems appeared. Since the day before yesterday, the touch screen has become extremely insensitive and I am not able to open an APP without touching the screen several times. In addition, the battery does not work as well as it claims to be. Yesterday, it ran out of battery in about 16 hours without making many calls, while you claim "Charge free for more than 3 days".

Since I just bought it for about one week and it is still under warranty, I would like to return this phone. I would not accept neither repair service nor replacement because I am quite disappointed and lost my confidence on this model.

Please let me know what I should do to return this phone and what materials or proofs are required from you.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours faithfully,
John Smith.

[Flick]

To me, It's quite a nice written piece.
Just curious, can you put "Mr. Smith" at the end of the letter? should it be something like "John Smith"?

I am also presenting my work:
I am writing with regard to a mobile phone I bought from your shop recently, as I am quite unsatisfied with its quality.

I bought a Samsung Note 2 at your duty free shop at the Hong Kong International Airport last Friday, September 20th. I tested it at your shop and everything worked just fine. However, just a few days later, some problems appeared. Since the day before yesterday, the touch screen has become extremely insensitive and I am not able to open any apps without touching the screen several times. In addition, the battery does not work as well as it claims to . Yesterday, it ran out of battery in about 16 hours without making many calls, while you claim, "Charge free for more than 3 days."

Since I just bought it about one week ago and it is still under warranty, I would like to return this phone. I will not accept repair service or a replacement because I am quite disappointed andhave lost confidence with this model.

Please let me know what I should do to return this phone and what materials or proofs are required from me.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours faithfully,
John Smith.