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Thanks Tina and Saran,

I appreciate your feedback. However, I don't think that examples work on this essay. The main function of the conclusion is to summarize the main points and restate your opinion, and as such I believe "future recommendation" is sometimes unnecessary.

Hi Tina, You are good at sentence structure as well as idea expression. However, I feel you paragraphs are a bit inconsistent and not straight to the point. I think your score fluctuates between 6.5 and 7.0 :) If you have time, please give your opinion on my essay: http://ieltsnetwork.com/viewtopic....

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