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Hello! The points mentioned in the first main paragraph may be country specific, so you should say which country you mean. (There is no problem with referring to problems or situations in your own country.) The points you make are good and there is some good development. Vocabulary is good with some...

Hello! This is a very good essay. Each main paragraph has a clear point and good development. Vocabulary is good, with some correctly used high level items, e.g. high demand, emergence of outsourcing, innovation, motivate them to perform well. There are quite a lot of grammatical errors, but these d...

Hello! I like this question! Introduction - Very good. Clear. Short. First main paragraph - Good. The main topic is clear and there is some good development. I think that the examples might be more specific. For instance, you have probably heard of the Paralympics, so which health problems do you me...

Hello! This is a VERY good essay. There are a few minor errors with grammar and word choice, but everything else is perfect. Organisation is clear. Each main paragraph has a clear topic and sentence order is excellent. Points are clearly developed and appropriate examples are provided. There is a ve...

Hello! There's a classic error with this T2 question - let's see if you make it! Second main paragraph - Well done! you didn't fall in to the trap! The conclusion is longer than the first main paragraph and almost as long as the second. In other words, you haven't developed your points. The points a...

Hello! My students will tell you that this is one of my favourite T2 questions ever! Let's see how you do! Introduction and first main paragraph - good. Second main paragraph - This doesn't refer to the question. You don't refer to high school students specifically. Conclusion - "it is obligato...

Hello! This is quite good, but you have missed a key word in the question statement - 'more'. This means that you need to be looking at things governments are not doing, but could be doing. Vocabulary is good, with some nice topic-specific pieces, e.g. coral reefs. Grammar is not too bad, but there ...

Hello! Introduction - First sentence - not exactly true. In some European countries, Japan, there has been concern about falling populations. You don't explain the 'ramifications' in your essay. First main paragraph - Yes, but you need to explain more about this. Besides, in most countries, governme...

Hello! I think your main points are good, but be careful with details - "people no longer watching TV or reading newspapers" - yes, they do! This is good example of how poor use of grammar and vocabulary can change the meaning of a sentence and idea, creating a poor impression on the exami...

Hello! Introduction - I'm not sure that the tech used in nuclear bombs has developed much in recent years. The effect of these bombs is already massive and testing has been banned by most countries. First main paragraph - A lot of people would argue that Kim is simply protecting himself, not his peo...

Hello! I have this chart, so don't worry about the image this time. You have spotted the main trend, but I think you should be more specific with the details. There are not many figures on the chart, so this should be relatively easy. Grammar is the biggest problem, however. There are a lot of mista...

Hello! Introduction - It is disagreed - Who by? The phrases 'real impact' and 'real value' do not mean the same thing. The introduction is longer than the main paragraphs. First main paragraph - invasive?! Second main paragraph - damage the nervous system?! Conclusion - unclear. You say that TV has ...

Hello! This is a good essay. Your points are clear and well-developed. I think the introduction is a little long and the conclusion a little short, but these are minor issues. Vocabulary is good. Grammatical range and accuracy are also both good, though I would suggest a wider range of structures an...

Hello! You have covered the three points, as required, but I think that there should be a bit more detail in your answers. Regarding the type of job, you suggest shop assistant because your friend likes travelling ... However, grammar and vocabulary are both good. There is a good mix of grammatical ...

Hi Aky,
I'd say it's not very important. However, some candidates are VERY informal and seem to think the examiner is a childhood friend! Not recommended!
David

Hello! The second main paragraph and the conclusion need to be rewritten. You need to explain, for example, what skills you are talking about, what 'simultaneous actions' you mean, and why the number of cars on the road is significant. Vocabulary and grammatical structures are not used to create a c...

Hello! The conclusion is not entirely clear. Do you mean that no-one should do post-graduate studies, including in those cases where you wrote that it is 'deemed important'? The range of vocabulary and grammar is insufficient to create a convincing argument. More precision (conditionals, again!) wou...

Hello! The points are not well-developed, especially in the first main paragraph. Why is productivity boosted? Why is considered an outdated concept? Why does the second main paragraph show the advantages of having more than one career? How did you reach your conclusion? Why does the second main par...

Hello! The introduction is nearly as long as the main paragraphs! The main arguments are not very convincing. Music teachers at schools can spot talent. Kids who are taught at home can still join sports clubs. Vocabulary is reasonable. Grammar too, but there is not much range and precision. This far...

Hello! Climate change - Grrr! Anyway, even climate change fanatics agree that rain will increase in some areas, so at the very least, you need to be more specific. (And before any climate change people leap in, the number one greenhouse gas is water vapour, which will not be reduced by switching fro...

Hello! There is very little difference between the two points in the two main paragraphs (the second just adds 'quickly and instantly'). The points are valid, of course, but they do not really discuss the types of relationships people make. Vocabulary is not really used to create an effective argume...

Hello! I didn't count the number of words, but it looks to me to be under 250. If this is the case, the ideas need to be more developed. The ideas are good, though. In the conclusion, you fail to explain why you think some reasons are more important than others. The range of grammar is a little limi...

Hello!

There are two confusing sentences in the essay - main paragraph 1, sentence 4, and main paragraph 2, sentence 2.

The basic ideas are good, but poorly developed. Grammar is weak, with lots of errors. Vocabulary is reasonable, but, as mentioned, not very clear.

All the best,
David

Hello! This essay is good until the conclusion. You don not explain why you think some reasons outweigh others. (This has been a feature of several recent essays posted.) This can be a problem when candidates go for the (easy) method of one paragraph for each side of the argument. Vocabulary and gra...

Hello! The second main paragraph is a mess. Terrible overgeneralisations! No evidence! The first main paragraph is reasonable but a little more development and precision would be a good idea. Vocabulary is a mix - good in parts, bad in others. Be precise! Grammar is generally ok, but there is not mu...